There is nothing quite like that first emergency dash to the hospital with your child. I remember crying and praying in equal measure as I weaved my way through rush hour traffic, my 18 month old daughter in her car seat in the back. She was having a severe allergic reaction to something she had eaten and her breathing was becoming increasingly labored. I had never known terror quite like that before but unfortunately I have experienced it since with a few more trips to the emergency room with both my daughter and my son. In a true emergency, there is nothing to do but get yourself and your child to medical help as quickly as possible, but once you are in safe hands, there are more than a few things that you can do to make the whole experience easier for you and your child.
Stay with your child as much as possible. You may be asked to leave the room when your child is having blood drawn (“Much easier for you not to see this, Mummy!”) or having other examinations but I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to stay with your child whenever you possibly can. As scary as hospital is for us, it is even more terrifying for your little one. Even if they scream while they are having a needle inserted into their veins, at least they can see you and feel your hand squeezing theirs. For babies, you can also breastfeed them during or straight after many procedures, which is enormously comforting to both you and them. In the event that you cannot be with your child and they are conscious (for example if they need to have a MRI), you can use your voice to constantly reassure them that you are nearby and that all is well.
Make sure your child has their comfort objects. If you know that you are going to be in hospital for more than a few hours, get someone to collect their favourite toy, dummy or other comfort object from home. In a world of strangers, medicinal smells and the sounds of other children crying, these small talismans of normal life can be so reassuring to your child.
Advocate for your child. I am always amazed how confident, successful and highly educated people go absolutely mute and passive in the face of medical authority. Doctors and nurses are highly trained but they are not as interested or invested in the health of your children as YOU are. Ask questions, understand the diagnosis, read the package insert of any medication that you are prescribed. If something feels wrong for your child, question it. Say no. Your child is powerless in this situation and you need to be their voice.
I remember the week when my one year old son was hospitalized for pneumonia. It was very scary especially as he was battling high temperatures. One night, the nurse came around at about midnight to check his temperature. I had just spent over an hour rocking and singing him to sleep and he was sound asleep in my arms. I could feel that his little body next to mine had cooled and that he was so much better than he had been. She wanted to take him away from me, take his temperature (which I knew would wake him up) and note everything down in her observations. This was her job and she was determined to do it. I said no. Quietly and politely I declined her services and asked to please come back in a few hours. She did. It’s as simple as that.
Look after yourself. Your first priority in hospital is your child but your second is you. You simply cannot look after your little girl or boy for a lengthy period of time under high stress if you have not slept or nourished your body. Sleep if your child is sleeping and make sure you drink and eat at regular intervals. If you need a break from the confines of the hospital (I know I certainly did!) ask your husband, mom or a good friend to take over for a few hours or overnight. You need to replenish your own body and soul so that you can take care of your little one.
Have you had a child in hospital? What did you do to make it a little easier for both of you?